I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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