all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
