If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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