Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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