she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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