I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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