Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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