I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
