Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
