Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
