Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
