i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
