She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So squirting runs in the family.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize