You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
