Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
