Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
