It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
