i just wanna soil my oats bro
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
