And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
