3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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