mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
