do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
