Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
