Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
