Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
