don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
