Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize