found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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