okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize