Kareoke will never be a sober sport
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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