i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
