you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
