someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
