doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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