I want to walk on stilts...naked
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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