a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
