i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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