Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
