yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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