I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This gyro tastes like lonliness
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
