So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
