cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
