On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
