im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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