I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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