woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize