I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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