You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize