as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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