Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
