nutella sex= disaster
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
