I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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