My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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