Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
