Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
