5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
