It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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