He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize