And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sex in a hospital.. check
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
