Cold hands, warm shart.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The power of my boobs compel you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
