I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
