I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We had to coat check the pizza.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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