My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
