PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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