are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
