went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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