So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
