Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i've created a new STD.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
