Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
