you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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